Attention Rich Parents! Your brat needs this!

 I play Rock Band. I have close to replica size plastic toys that I pretend to play because it makes me feel like if I stuck to learning the guitar, I could've been somebody. I could be the one on VH1 Celebrity Rehab crying about why its so hard to quit Elmer's glue because its got more tangy flavor than Miracle Whip. I play on those controllers because it adds a pretty necessary feel to what the game is trying to accomplish. I do not play Mario Kart feeling at a loss because I don't have that low to the ground feel and tight turns of an actual cartoon like kart! The Wii is notorious for having third party publishers that release some pretty stupid shit to go along with their games. Adding a piece of blue plastic tube to the end of your already crazy wireless controller and charging 30 bucks for it is ingenious but still pretty stupid...though I did feel more like a Jedi...hmm. My point is, video games that make you use a little bit of your imagination and then add some pretty interactive visuals to it are fun, but if you remove the imagination part, and you give too much to the player, in this case children...i hope. Then you are taking away from them the chance to make believe they are in the game, to make silly ass turn motions and jumping up and down with the controller. Worse, you are pushing those video games closer to reality, and for quite a few video games, that could be really bad. CLick through the jump to see my example.

Video Game Review - Blur

Blur
Release Date: Available Now
Developer: Bizarre Creations
Publisher: Activision
Multiplayer: Xbox Live, PSN, Split Screen 4p
My Time with Game: Uncompleted (3 days)
One Sentence Review: Released at a time alongside two other racing games Blur does a darn good job at creating an adult kart racing genre.

 

Blur is like Mario Kart. Picking up power ups, drafting, using well timed attacks to force your way into the next position. Blur is also totally not Mario Kart. Bizarre Creations has managed to develop a game that takes the power-up heavy play of kart racing series and add an adult flavor to it with real world locations and vehicles.

Super Mario Galaxy 2 - Video Game Review

Super Mario Galaxy 2
Release Date: Available Now
Developer: Nintendo
Publisher: Nintendo
Multiplayer: 2 players...sort of.
My Time with Game: Uncompleted (4 days)
One Sentence Review: Probably the definitive Mario game of the hd console generation and one of the few necessary titles in a very small Wii library.


          Super Mario Galaxy 2 didn't really need to be made. The first one did a great enough job on its own and it really set a standard for how Mario games should be played and visualized on a next gen system. That being said, thank Jebus Miyamoto that they made Super Mario Galaxy 2.

No! Get better fool, you taught me laser tag!

Update: he died :(

Gary Coleman, probably best known for his role in Diff'rent Strokes was admitted a hospital in Utah and is currently in critical condition. I don't know Gary like most people would. I can't remember one full episode of Strokes so most of my television exposure was having the tiny man convince me to take out a loan with some company so I could run for Governor. I didn't make it, my opponent took steroids and killed robots. It was a pretty admirable platform. Gary didn't make it either but he was a trooper and went on to bigger things. I think I heard he was a pimp or something. I feel like I knew Gary more than just on TV though. When I was in my younger years, and Gary in his. My brother had a birthday party at some place called Ultrazone. Would've been a standard laser tag party if it weren't for the fact that Gary freakin Coleman was the one teaching us how to play the game! Seriously, my dad kept staring at him and the guy got kinda mad and finally admitted it. They talked for a while, said he was a security guard, instructor, and I think like owned the place. Whatever, i was little, laser tag was the most important thing.       ...actually, it still is I think.

Note: Gary what the hell were you doing in Utah?

Was Lost but now am...more lost.

Know that logo? Know this show? hmm? If you do, then because of last night, you'll be spending the day realizing the headache you have is not from playing King's Cup with kitchen cleaners, but because you spent Sunday evening getting humped in the head for 2 and a half hours. Haven't seen it yet, don't click past the jump.

The Last Whitebender?

Okay, I know the M. Night Shyamalan movie does not come out for another two months, but i read an LA Times article today that kinda annoyed me... http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-ca-racebender-20100523,0,6501983.story

Now I know that Hollywood has a history of casting Caucasian actors in minority roles (usually to comic effect, or in order to stereo type, or in earlier days because some races were not allowed to be in staring roles), but i think that the "controversy" surrounding casting in The Last Airbender film is a little over blown, not to mention premature.

And introducing.....!

Heyo Boys and girls!

My name is Louis and I am a contributor to this blog! Mostly I will be here talking about comic books and movies (if they are movies ABOUT comic books you can bet i will most definitely be talking about that!:)and other random Scifi related things that happen to pop into my head.

Now I am not quite as "quirky" as my friend here. No sadly the medication has seen to that. BUT i am prone to ranting and/or raving depending on the subject (Do not BRING up the Spider-man Mary Jane marriage unless you REALLY want to get an ear full, and possibly hear me cry). Gail Simone is my comic book Goddess (look her up, she writes great stuff).

I am a certified geek with a capital "G"! You want proof you say? well here it is: I worship at the Altar of Joss Whedon, I collect comic books, love Scifi and fantasy. I'm a film buff who also cant get enough of literature! I am an avid Doctor Who and Torchwood fan, and I am proof positive that Trekkies and Star Wars Fanatics can live in peace and harmony. To top it all off I once was a member of the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers fan club (Don't doubt me, I have the membership card!)

Well that about covers the introduction. Hope you're looking forward to hearing from me, I am. and if you REALLY like hearing for me, invite me over for dinner! I'll bring wine and we can watch various Joss Whedon productions and probably never leave!

Blow me...wait...no!

I hate leaf blowers. I hate them. Hate. In my eyes they serve no purpose. What do they accomplish? These things only manage to move one pile of stuff, poorly, from one part of the street to another. They create more noise than the Mexifamily across the street. Do you know how hard it is to drown out a Mariachi band? Seriously, its really hard. They keep kicking and squirming, there is like four of them at least so they try to help each other, and none of them just accept it and stay under water.

..wait...maybe that's just drown and not drown out. Whatever, my point being is that these machines make a butt ton of noise and I finally get to sleep around the time they show up! I can't tell them to leave or turn it off. Their operators don't speak English and I swear I think they don't even know how to turn em off themselves. They just drive around town with these poser proton packs constantly blaring in the cab of their trucks. I wonder if that explains the volume of the music. I'm obviously writing this because I have hit grumpy mode in terms of my lack of sleep. I just don't understand them. What suicidal individual is cool with wearing a pack of gasoline on his back?

Really? What's that? They don't know its flammable? They don't know what that word even means? And you pay them how much? Wow...you sir are a genius.


Note: Leaf Blower would be an awesome hooker name. Like she could say "Mmm, looks like your gardens all a mess there mister, let me bl..." Crud, hold on, those guys are screaming. Now i gotta google what "Por favor, Señor, No podemos nadar con estas cosas!" means.

OMG MAI PRIVACEE OH NOES!

Facebook changed their privacy settings recently. Did you know that? Cmon, you have to have known that. Every news media outlet has run some sort of story on it. Facebook is invading your privacy, taking your pictures, your thoughts, your very soul! Actually...that might have been in the terms of service for real. Either way, they did, its done, its changed. So what the heck does that mean for you, the common Facebook user. Well, it means the website is going to demand more info out of you if you want more customization, but it also means the info you give won't necessarily be just yours. You like cats. That's great, i think they're funny. Now you're in the Everyone Loves Cats club. Don't want to be? Tough shit. You said you like cats god damn it so Facebook is making you branch out. Its almost like when parents force their kids onto the playground telling them to "socialize!" Except in this case you're old enough to notice the pedobear dressed in the purple track suit. He likes cats...and...other stuff. My point being, this new Facebook, it does a lot. There are a lot of things that it adds to the interwebz that actually make it kind of neat. But there may be some stuff you may not want to go along with. Me? Well, I don't care for people having access to my photo albums, but I am cool with letting everyone in the known world know how awesome Kung Pow: Enter the Fist is. Seriously...watch it. Life...Changing.


I digress, for those of you who want to make your own decisions about this stuff, here is a link to help guide you. Don't say I never do anything for you.
Facebook Lockdown
Serious though...don't say anything. I hate being reminded of my lack of charity.

Note: My spell check underlines Facebook. hehe. FACEBOOK FACEBOOK FACEBOOK! Stupid unhip spell check. Get with the times!

Split/Second - Video Game Review

Split/Second
Release Date: Available Now
Developer: Black Rock Studios
Publisher: Disney Interactive
Multiplayer: Split Screen(2), Xbox Live
My Time with Game: Uncompleted (2 days)
One Sentence Review: A decent arcade style racer whose literally explosive gimmick actually makes it worth your time.

 

I don't like racing games. I'm not sure if its because I frustrate easy or because I generally seem to get enough enjoyment at risking my life in the real world by poorly controlling my Nissan around Orange County. Split/Second is an arcade racing game. It has enough speed and pretty cars to count it as a racer, but its easy enough to get into, lacks excessive accuracy, and is crazy unrealistic which earns it the title "arcade." Damn good thing that its really fun.

Insomnia = Stupid Mode

Not sleeping makes you creative. Really, no lie. It does. Otherwise I wouldn't have taken the time to make this blog. I don't think that if I was well rested that I would work this hard on my off time...i'd rest. Does that make sense? It shouldn't. Joking aside, insomnia can be a bitch. Leaves you with a lot more time in your day than most people have and if you're ADD like me, you need things to do to fill that time. So I watch movies, i play video games, and I eat food. Insomnia also leaves you with less ability to restrain emotions or react appropriately to stuff. So if a vending machine is loaded so that after anyone buys the first Snickers there is an empty spot before the next one, I'm gonna fuckin chew out the vending machine! Again, misguided and unrestrained criticism. Turns out though that honesty makes for an interesting read. Enjoy this crap people of the interwebz. Because I am also pretty sure this lack of sleep is gonna get me killed.



...fuck that vending machine and its animal cracker packages with bestial sodomy on the front.